what's your nice-q?


i took the test to know my likeability. i'm surprised; i scored below average. click the icon below if you also want to try and don't read the rest of my entry yet:
q1: asking question is not really necessary when you really understood someone.

my ans. true
they didn't asked the why but i'm gonna tell why. first, question is being asked if you don't understand something. second,what question i'm gonna ask her/him because if i truly understand him/her i somehow know where her feelings coming from.

according to them: sorry. a common mistake in all relationships- effective communication requires putting yourself in the "other shoes"- asking questions and really listening in the first and most important step in any successful relationship.

reaction: ngek! but very well said somehow i'm convince.

q2: if you care for someone you will be nice to them without trying.

my ans: true
automatically you will be nice to person you care for because you don't want to upset them or make them feel bad about you.

according to them: sorry. we often assume we can or should be able to mind- read if we are close to someone. this is a mistake, we are often least nice to people we care about because we assume we do not need to try.

reaction: really... fine maybe there are times you can't be nice if she has offended you but definitely after awhile i find myself to talking to her especially with my sisters and then i just realized i shouldn't have talk to her first. but i did and things were good again as if nothing happens.

q3. if you do not know how the other person is feeling, it is hard to know how to be useful to them.

my ans: true
definitely because you won't know what exactly to tell or do for her.

according to them: correct. asking questions and assessing the other person's perspective is the first step to meeting their needs- whether personal or professional.
reaction: finally they agree with me.

q4. niceness is something that should come naturally.

my ans: true
man is naturally good person. good is a synonym of nice

according to them: sorry. niceness is a set of skills just like writing or effective communication- we need to work at it.

reaction: what?!

q5. Everyone has obstacles to niceness such as emotions, circumstances, life events.

my ans: true
it's hard to be nice when you feel bad unless your plastic.
according to them: i am correct. Our beliefs, attitudes way we were raised forms a model for behavior or a set of expectations about ourselves and others. If we feel we treated unfairly. if we are angry about something in our past we are less likely to be nice to others if we believe because we were raised that way or educated that way- that niceness is a separated and deserving goal in our lives, we will be more likely to override those models and practice niceness.

q6. Niceness may be nice, but it has little to do with success.

my ans. true
when you're successful you feel good and i just want to be nice to everyone and share that good feeling.

according to them: a common stereotypes is that you must be pushy to succeed, we believe and show otherwise.
reaction: that can't be true.

q7. if we believe nice behavior is linked to successful living, we will be more likely to change our attitudes and behavior.

my ans: false
one time my aunt says to me that there are attitudes that's so hard to change so whatever it is i just have to accept that and swear it help me a lot on how to adjust with some of the whims or quirks of my sisters.

according to them: when we believe that nice behavior is really a set of adaptive positive skills rather than just a wimpy politeness we are more likely to embrace it as a life strategy.

reaction: oh that makes me feel i'm bad person.

q8. it does not matter why you do a good deed as long as you do it.

my ans: false
because helping or being nice to other doesn't have to have reason as long as you're happy about it.

according to them:good deeds are way of starting positive cycles as well as having some direct benefits- either way- when you act well, it is better than acting badly or being exclusively self serving.

reaction: i think i have to agree.

q9. if you believe that a good deed is an investment, it is not an act of kindness but merely a self-serving gesture.

my ans. false
i believe in karma. what goes around comes around, what comes down must goes up.
by alicia keys but its true.

according to them: good deeds may very well be investments, but they still benefit both the doer- by making him/her feel good and potentially by establishing important connections and the receiver of the good deed.

reaction: i deserve something good.

q10. if we have been treated badly or rudely, we are more likely to act that way.

my ans. true
i believe that our actions are just reaction to how other people or our environment act to us.

according to them: i am right we have an impulse to " get even" or "be fair" that is sometimes difficult to override. we talk about giving a chance to pitch in an idea to a previously nasty boss. this is not our natural instinct, but one that pays off if we can manage it.

reaction: how about a drink to that?!

q11. being nice is often the same as being in good mood.

my ans: false
for simple reason that it's hard to be nice if your in a bad mood.

according to them: i'm wrong. we talk about being funny, complementing people and giving out candy to make a positive impression-all things we are- more likely to do when in a good mood. nice people would likely to describe as happy or friendly people.

reaction: honestly i don't get it.

q12. whether someone opens or sends thank-you notes is a reflection of superficial style, not what kind of person they really are.

my ans: true
sometimes we do things because that is what other people expect us to do.

according to them: i'm wrong. people are likely to make quite global judgments if someone fails to provide a polite gesture and maybe equally impressed is such a gesture is made. it behooves us to pay attention to the details.

reaction: whatever...

q13. making a positive impression can be a matter of simple gestures.

my ans: false

according to them: no other explanation and agree with me by saying plainly that; that's not right.

q14 People's manners are determined at an early age and are difficult to alter.

my ans: true
it is hard to deviate from what you used to be.

according to them: to some extent people's manner are introduced at an early age. They are never set. however, If at an early adults puts his/her mind to it, he/she can learn to be more attentive and sensitive to others thus making a more positive connection.

reaction: to some extent also i have to agree.

q15. We can usually separate the fact that someone is nice from whether/not that person likes us.

my ans: true

according to them: we tend to describe people as nice if they are nice to us. we see and notice the behavior is front of us to think, for example " she is not kind to me, but i bet she is overall a very nice person." Therefore we need to be careful with the impression we make, knowing people tend to make generalized judgments.

reaction:ok, i feel stupid now.

q16. being diplomatic is different from being nice.

my ans: false

according to them: being diplomatic is very similar to being nice-being careful with one's words and actions and sensitive to the others perspective.

reaction: i'm right!

q17. nice people are often seen as pushovers.

my ans: true

according to them: niceness can enhance not hinder one's success.

reaction: how come?

q18. when you act "as if" you like someone, you can change your relationship.

my ans: false
acting and not genuinely what you feel will make your relationship to the person worse.

according to them: this concept is at the root of all cognitive-behavioral intervention.
our thoughts and feelings often catch up our emotions. we frequently need to act "as if " we like someone to witness ourselves acting that way and then decide "wow i am acting this way i must like this person."

reaction:

q19. niceness is a state of mind.

my ans: true

according to them: niceness does not just come and stay . we are all sometimes crabby, sometimes we need to work on the skills associated with niceness such that they will come through in our daily lives.

q20. nice is a set of skills.

my ans. true

according to them: niceness is a set of skills that can be honed to better assists us in making our way to what ever goals we set for ourselves.



My overall scores 5 out of 20

verdict: i have to buy his book in order for me to learn to become more nice because being nice is a skill that can be learned.

reaction: fine i'm not nice and i don't want to be nice if i have to pay in $. thank you!