i want to be spontaneous and tried it. it's hard in fairness. fun maybe during the time that it happens but sometimes regret it because it is something that isn't me and put me in certain situation i don't like. musta naman yon diba?

i like to do a lot of things and be good at those. the problem is i got low self esteem. i know i could do somethings i just hesitate when thoughts like someone is much better than i do or being a first timer i could look stupidly awful.

somehow, i can write my thoughts and everything not so conscious about the grammar. i just hope if someone could read this they understand me fully. but i couldn't converse well. or if i loose myself in a talking i'd probably regret it afterwards.

so spontaneity is hard to achieve for me.

it makes me think . (i) need to be smart. what can a person do for him to be regarded as a smart?
according to encarta dictionary:

smart [ smaart ]

adjective (comparative smart·er, superlative smart·est)

Definition:

1. clever: showing intelligence and mental alertness smart students

2. keen: shrewd and calculating in business and other dealings a smart dealer

3. witty and amusing: amusingly clever and possessing a quick wit

4. insolent: disrespectful or impertinent Whatever you say to him, he has some smart answer.

5. fashionable: fashionable and stylish smart dress

wow the word has different meaning according to how you would use it. it could be positive or otherwise. anyway can someone be clever, keen, witty and amusing and fashionable at the same time. forget the insolent no one would like to be one. anyway, having all those positive meaning of it must be tough. ah i know one pala. oprah winfrey. diba?
what it takes to be like oprah? naku nangarap...

i was looking for a smart thinking pics and three monkeys came up. one couldn't hear or don't want to hear, the other couldn't see or wouldn't want to see and last couldn't talk or don't want to (talk).
it made me think. i could see, hear and talk. still i felt less. i'm not smart. right! i'm not smart enough to use my ear, eyes and my mouth to my advantage.
whoah! deep thinking again.
serious baga!